whose love can you feel?

by Anna Huckabee Tull

Each month, for the first twelve months after Marie Pechet’s passing, I will carry her Blog forward, sharing about Marie in ways that I hope you will find meaningful, connective, and honoring of our shared friend.

I was visiting with Marie’s mother-in-law recently. She has become a good friend.

We were looking through pictures on her computer and we stumbled upon this collection of shots of Marie and her family, all from, essentially, the same moment. Not so very long ago.

For me, it was like discovering a little oasis of magic in the middle of my loss of Marie. There she was! Alive. Vibrant. Surrounded on all sides by love. I felt at once relieved and excited to see it.

I can’t help thinking about that thing Marie was always talking about with me, and in her blog: The wonder of a single, awake moment. The ability to know that something sacred is happening,
as it is happening.

These photos speak to me of closeness. Of ease. Of harmony. Of love. And of something sacred.

I invite YOU to stop for a moment and ask yourself this question:

Whose love can I feel?

You might have to close your eyes.

You don’t have to have anyone right next to you to feel love, although that’s always nice when it happens.

That said, sometimes, when there is no one next to you at all, it sort of clears the space and makes it possible for you to just hold still and f-e-e-l……..not so much think about “Whose love should I be feeling?” but rather, just…….”Whose love DO I feel, right now, if I really stop to notice?”

Whose love do I feel, when I stop and hold still? Whose love do I let in? What does it feel like when I block the love that is coming at me? What does it feel like when I lower my guard, trust the moment, and dare to feel loved?

It’s not always easy to let love in – even when you want to. Even when it’s right there next to you, warm as an embrace, close as a hand or an arm next to yours.

I think Marie worked very hard, before she left, to leave love for each of us, in all the forms she knew how. She was creative about it. She was consistent about it. She placed her love, carefully, thoughtfully, into recurring themes and messages.

Look around, she seemed to be saying. See what’s here right now. See how delightful and quirky and magical and worth seeing it all is…

Maybe it’s her love you feel, when you stop and close your eyes. Maybe it someone else’s. With any luck, maybe it’s a whole host of people.

Whoever it is, I am feeling grateful today for those who work consciously to put their hearts out there. And grateful to those who keep opening and re-opening their hearts, in order to feel.

I feel so relieved that even now, six months in, I can feel Marie’s love.

I can actually still feel it.

And that is a magical blessing indeed.

~Anna Huckabee Tull

Learn More:
Read Marie’s earlier blogs
Anna’s website: CustomCraftedSongs.com
Album featuring Marie’s songs: cdbaby.com/cd/annahuckabeetull

10 thoughts on “whose love can you feel?

  1. Hi Anne – oh such a welcome message today – thank you! We are all still out here…..missing Marie…! So thank you for the positive, uplifting thoughts and the reminder to be present in the moment.

  2. Working away creating my life, which is constantly changing, yesterday I yearned to call Marie for a check in. I wondered if you were still blogging and realized I had missed the last one. Sitting on the grass resting for a bit, I dropped into earth and sky expanding my field filling with universal love!! Restoring my heart while I searched around for Marie, asking to feel her support, and now today here you are touching me so deeply and completely with this writing! Thank you so much…breathe in, breathe out… everything is right there, all we need to remember is to ask❤️

    • Amen! Sooooooo happy that this post and the last one had this impact on you! Thanks for being a part of this and thank you SO MUCH for this note!

  3. Anna,
    Thank you so much for this post. The pictures of Marie & Tiron made me gasp, with joy but also a bit of pain. I do miss her, and I can feel her laughter and the small placements of love she gave to me through the years. I’m feeling so busy and stressed today – and still have that blocked feeling in my chest that comes from too much “to do” and not enough being. So I’m going to re-read your post, close my eyes, breathe, and see what I can let in. Thank you again.

    • Mary, your note speaks to me! I have been sooooo busy with “to do” and those photos of Marie stopped me short. Like you – made me happy and sad all at once. So powerful to see them. Sometimes pictures say more than words!!! Thanks for leaving a note and helping me remember that people are out there reading these posts and helping to keep all Marie worked to build, in terms of connection, alive with all the she gave! – Anna

  4. Thank you! These posts are such an honor to write and I am so tickled that they continue t be read.

  5. Marie meant so much to me. More than she ever understood. We had done journeys together thru the years. Singe actual travels, some in the heart. I was also going thru the loss of a child, and then infertility. We had decided on the adoption route. My daughter has Marie as her middle name. In was blessed with 2 newborn, miracles in 19 months. We had often talked about the process of adoption. She spoke of not being certain she wanted children. And how did I know I did. My common sense attitude on that was that if you are consistently thinking about kids, you must want them. Otherwise the thought could/would leave your mind and heart. They ended up even using our Attorney for the boys. I was so happy for her. In the email days, before texting, we would spend hours trading stories. I miss her. Not sure why I had never written before. But today I had to as I re-read your blog.

    • So glad you wrote. I know Marie’s journey around struggling to become a mom and then BECOMING ONE was a powerful and intense and defining one. It means a lot to me that you wrote, and I feel sure Marie, whoever she is now, has a strong connection to you still! After all, she was the one who was always reminding us about the “threads we cannot see but can feel.” xoxoxo Thank you for following along! – Anna

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