Summer camp

Chemo today, Tuesday. Very much appreciate your prayers and positive thoughts for an easy but effective chemo session through Thursday, and also very much appreciate your understanding and support of our family as we go through this. Thank you.

The kids are done with school and we are transitioning to summer. The first couple of days are always bumpy for us as we switch to summer mode. I noticed that other moms went on a mom-son trip for the first days after school. What a great idea! But I didn’t do that and we bumbled along, adjusting to a new routine.

Fortunately, that lasted only for a couple of days. Our younger son started baseball camp on Monday. It was a last-minute decision and we didn’t get to check and see what other friends might be attending, but he was excited nonetheless as I dropped him off.

My personal highlight was that I got to pick him up at the end of the day. Since I got really sick in March, I haven’t been able to pick him up from school. The fifteen-minute drive, the waiting in the pickup line, and the drive home was just too much.

But, yesterday, I was able to pick him up after camp! He got into the car, bubbly and excited about his day. His bright smile was nonstop and he smelled of summer. And, without prompting, he talked with me about his day! I heard that many friends from his current school were in camp, as well as a friend from his old school who he was thrilled to see again. He got to practice catching grounders and pop-ups, and he felt like his skills were solid enough that he wasn’t going to embarrass himself. He had no problem passing the swim test, though the water was “probably 33 degrees!” (Fahrenheit)

It was energizing and fun and I felt more connected to him and his life. I miss the opportunity to hear that detail. Admittedly, it is rare – my boys don’t tend to talk about their day at all. But I was glad to be there when it happened. By the time he got home, his mind was onto something else.

Because I will have chemo, I can’t do the drive the rest of the week. I’m grateful to those who are driving the boys around. I don’t hate my life, and I do appreciate what I have. But it is these daily events that I miss the most and can leave me feeling disconnected.

It’s cool but clearly summer here in New England. Wherever you are, whatever your life is today, I hope you get to enjoy the daily events that keep you connected to your life and to the core of who you are and want to be.

Much love,

Stopping in the middle

I cannot thank you enough for being there and hanging in there with me and my family this entire time. I am back to ask for prayers and positive thoughts for my chemo session this week, and to thank you for all you do to take care of our family.

For today, just a little story from the week:

The other day, I was stopped at an intersection. If you know the Porter Square area, I was stopped on Upland Road where it meets Mass Ave, facing the T station. If you don’t know the Porter Square area, picture a busy intersection crowded with businesses as well as cars, bikes, scooters, pedestrians, dogs…and everyone generally moves seamlessly.

As I sat in my car, first at the light, a 50-something year old woman started to cross in the intersection in front of me. About halfway through the intersection, directly in front of my car, she abruptly stopped walking and looked down at her cellphone. At first, I assumed she was reading a text, but after awhile, I thought maybe she was looking at a map. No problem – I had a red light and wasn’t going anywhere. I watched her with interest. She stood so very still.

Eventually, the light turned green. But she was still standing there, staring at her phone, almost in a daze. I could have driven around her, but there wasn’t much room and that risked startling her. The cars behind me started honking but I was close enough to talk with her.

“You need to get out of the street.”

She looked up at me but didn’t move her feet.

“You need to go to one side or the other.” I also pointed, because I wasn’t sure she understood English.

She scurried back to the corner and we all moved on.

Her actions (or, non-actions) really struck me. On the surface, it seemed like a stupid move to stop in the middle of the street. But I know people who would stop like that if they were lost, or if they got bad news in a text, or if something else suddenly took them out of their physical reality.

It’s hard to know what is going on in someone’s life. Thank you for trying to understand ours, and for giving the leeway for all the unusual behaviors that can surface that may not feel as stupid as they look from the outside.