Thanks again for all your support, in so many ways. This whole ride has been crazy lately, between the medical issues and making sure the kids have a good start to school, we really appreciate all the support in whatever form it takes.
So, to ask for MORE…
I have a “procedure” on Tuesday morning to get a nephrostomy. Please send prayers and positive thoughts that this goes smoothly and successfully AND that I am not super depressed afterwards! As much as I want to believe and trust that this will be in for only two weeks, the interventional radiologist firmly planted in my psyche the thought that this might be permanent. That thought creeps out from the dark recesses of my mind at the most inopportune times.
Regardless, we can only move forward. It is sort of surreal to go about daily life knowing that on Tuesday, I have little clue how my life will change. I know that on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, I will have a visiting nurse to help me with all this. That alone makes me feel like there will be an adjustment. I talked with another nurse on Friday – he was super nice but when I asked how to live with this on a daily basis – how to sleep and drive and keep myself clean – he actually said that I will have to “MacGyver my way through this.” I have never been good at MacGyvering anything. Besides, it is crazy, to me, that they have done so many of these yet cannot tell you how to live with it.
Looking beyond this makes me crazy too. I have something every week for the next 2+ months:
- Procedure (to place nephrostomy)
- Procedure (to put in the stent)
- CT scan
- Procedure (in case first time the stent doesn’t work)
- Procedure (to remove nephrostomy tube)
I cannot process all that, so I am focused on today. I have been doing what I can with the boys, attended a class dinner with my husband, visited with friends, took care of one child who wasn’t feeling well enough to attend school.
In the spirit of making the best of things, I woke up Saturday morning and thought, instead of looking at this as “no more showers for awhile”* I should look at it as “I really appreciate the next four days of showers.”
So I got out of bed, turned on the shower, and….lukewarm water. I knew that meant there wasn’t much left so I took a quick and not fully satisfying shower, then learned our heating system was broken. Ironic. (Thanks to my husband, it got fixed that very day.)
Right now, I am feeling good and back to being grateful for my life, even with all my external parts, and being nervous about things like the Presidential debates and the upcoming election.
Thank you for your prayers and positive vibes on Tuesday morning. I head into Brigham and Women’s at 6:30 a.m. Eastern U.S. time. And I pray my thanks for you in my life.
*I am not allowed to bathe, swim or shower for as long as I have this thing in. Only spongebaths. I asked what I should do if I sweat. The nurse laughed and said I won’t be exerting myself enough to sweat. Obviously he has not gone through menopause.