A cup of coffee

On Sunday, I went out for a cup of coffee and carried it with me while I took a walk.

Very unremarkable, I know. This may be something you do every day, multiple times, without thinking much about it.

But today, almost every word in that sentence fills me with wonder.

For example, I went out. On chemo weeks (like last week), I spend Tuesday – Thursday inside and in bed, and I often don’t leave the house on Friday or Saturday either, especially in the winter. On Sunday morning, I always aim to make it to church, but usually getting ready takes all my energy and then I am too tired to go. So again, I stay inside. As a result, I spend almost a full week in my house.

But last Sunday, I went out!

Not just that, I went out for a cup of coffee. For a variety of reasons, I stopped drinking coffee around 10 years ago.

But we have a wonderful café near us, and I was recently tempted by, then fell in love with, their Turkish coffee. But getting a cup involves a lot of standing: Standing in their typically long lines to order, and then standing as I wait for the five minutes it takes them to make it. Standing longer than a minute or two can be difficult for me. But I did it!

Plus, in our culture, carrying a cup of coffee feels very normal, and cancer patients crave a sense of normalcy. I got to do something normal!

And, I took a walk. This means that I spent time outside, and I walked on my own two legs. It was awesome. It helped that the weather was unseasonably warm.

When I am doing chemo, and shortly afterwards, the days can seem dark and it feels like things will never get better. But then they do, in surprising ways. And even the most simple ways can bring power and joy, and take me to the next step.

I hope you are feeling power and joy today and if you are not, know that it can and will come, that and whatever else you dream of.

Love,
Marie

21 thoughts on “A cup of coffee

  1. Dear Marie, Thank God you are in my life. I was soooo pissed yesterday when my husband grabbed my $100 bread knife to use as a saw. I cried and went to my room. How Small and in transformed of me. Wow, I look at all you accomplished….walking, waiting, choosing to remain on the planet…whatever it takes…Marie, I love you. Lois🌴💓

    Sent from my iPad

    >

  2. That was lovely to read and to know that you don’t give up or give in to self-pity, which would be normal. (It is something I find easy to feel on bad days) You are a powerful inspiration. Pamela

  3. Hi, Marie! I’ve gotten terribly complacent about responding to your blog posts, but that’s because I’m so spoiled! You’re like my own, personal, free publication!

    At any rate- hugs from here. So glad that you were able to have coffee on Sunday morning! If that’s not worship, I don’t know what is! xo, Jennifer

  4. I wish I could donate energy to you as one donates blood. I wish I could share my everything with you. I hope you took a selfie of your holding your coffee while you walked. You could put it in your bedroom to look at on those days where you think you will never be able to get out of the house.

  5. Awh Marie! This is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. You’re so inspiring, and I’m so lucky to have you in my life.

    Love, Jamie

  6. Oh, Marie. I so resonate with your energy issues during the first week after chemo – and how difficult it becomes to stand. You remind me that sometimes (only sometimes), pushing through the tiredness can help me to get to the other side. And enjoy the little things that count for so much. I’m in Sanibel until early April. Let’s make plans (radical thought!) to get together in the spring.
    Love and Blessings,
    Deborah

  7. Thank you dear Marie for reminding us that every moment, every step, and every cup of coffee IS a blessing!! I am so touched by your beautiful writing that always awakens me to holy gratitude. Sending love, strength and peace!

  8. Marie, it was so nice to see you in church on Sunday and hear you do the readings! Your presence and your messages make such a difference to so many of us. I hope you know that! I’m sorry we missed you after mass — but I’m glad you got a coffee and enjoyed the lovely day.
    –Barbara

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