Although I like to picture myself the way I have always been, sometimes I get shocking glimpses of my body that I cannot ignore. For example, I walked by a mirror and wondered “Who is that woman with the super skinny arms?” (Yes, one can be too thin.) Or one of the kids recently asked me to go bike riding with him, and when I said yes, my husband noted that I had not been able to move from the same spot for almost three hours – was biking a realistic possibility?
I don’t want to see myself like that; it just feels too limiting. Inside, I feel like the same person and I don’t like to think that my body has changed at all.
In the meantime, I again experienced a series of morning sneezes. They started a few weeks ago – two or three sneezes just after waking. Usually, sneezing really hurts my abdomen but these did not. Still, they came one after another every single morning before I got out of bed. Over the weeks, they became four, then five. The other day, I counted six sneezes in a row.
At sneeze number six, I finally remembered that my grandfather used to do the same thing, so I laughed and asked if this was him.
The sneezing stopped. I smiled, thinking that meant he got his message across, letting me know that he was with me.
A few hours later, standing in the driveway of a friend’s house, I remembered that morning and the sneezing. I laughed at myself and decided I was making too much of a coincidence.
Was it really you? I asked him in my mind as I looked from the driveway to the street.
As if in answer, a landscaping truck drove by. In large letters on the side of the truck was the name of the company, which was the same as my grandfather’s last name.
Okay. I can be skeptical but honestly, this stuff is such a kick! I’m glad that we remain connected to those we love, regardless of the form we each take.
We all grow and change form, in one way or another. We gain and lose weight. We build muscle and lose it. We change our perspectives and beliefs. We wear fancy clothes and sweatpants. Our hair changes length, color and volume. We age. My own physical form may be changing but, like my grandfather who is no longer here in physical form, we can still connect in the ways that we are able. And it can be so much fun.
Regardless of your form today – whether this is a fabulous day or you have areas where you would like to be “better” – I hope you have fun connecting with someone or something you love.
Blessings and joy always,