One of my favorite curious medical phrases was used on the old TV show Friends, when Monica and Chandler were having trouble conceiving a baby. The doctor told Monica that she had an “inhospitable uterus.” Monica’s response was something like, “I’ve always tried to be a good hostess!” So many medical terms can feel like blaming the patient, and even if we try not to take them personally, they can get into our psyche.
So, I prioritize how my doctor talks to me. My oncologist is generally upbeat and focuses on the positive, but I also know that I have no control over what comes out of his mouth. To protect myself, I often avoid topics that might head in an unpleasant direction.
Last week, however, a friend suggested that I talk with my doctor about how I am doing overall. I sometimes feel like I am out there on the skinny branches and, to be honest, I wanted to hear from him that I was doing a good job with all of this. But because asking “how am I doing?” would open me up to any answer he might give, I plunged in tentatively.
He responded that I am an “Exceptional Patient,” and I laughed out loud.
I know that he didn’t mean that I am scoring all A’s on some patient scorecard, and he certainly didn’t mean that I am so wonderfully compliant with his advice.
“Exceptional Patient” turns out to be medical speak for a patient who does not conform to the norm or to expectations.
He talked about his other Exceptional Patients and how the norm is constantly being redefined (because current statistics are based on past data, and all of us are creating new data every day we live). He explained that we don’t really know what creates an Exceptional Patient, though it involves some degree of luck regarding where the cancer migrates and how quickly it grows.
Even if it was a medical term and not the result of anything I specifically did, I liked hearing a positive phrase, especially a positive medical phrase. And chemo went pretty smoothly last week – I think that positive talk helped.
I would be remiss if I didn’t also acknowledge your positive thoughts and positive talk, which keeps me going and often arrives just when I need lifting or encouragement to continue. Thank you. Your words are powerful and I’m sure you see the impact they have on others as you go through your day. What a gift you give. I hope that you are lifted by the good words of others as well.
Love and blessings,