Chemo resumes next week

Thank you for your prayers and your good wishes, your presence, your texts, your emails, your comments. I feel a bit like you are cheering me up Heartbreak Hill on the Boston Marathon route – it definitely keeps me going.

The good news is that everything we covered today with the oncologist was familiar territory. Yes, there is growth, but all in the areas where there was known tumor. Yes, I feel bloated, but they found no ascites (fluid that the tumors can generate) so it is likely due to tumor on my colon slowing down the works. And yes, I am short of breath, but that is probably due to my diaphragm being squeezed from all the crowding in that space, not because of new lung tumors as I had feared. And yes, my CEA (tumor marker in my blood) was higher, but it has been that high before and we got it back down.

In fact, it was hard to find the spots on my lungs, so that was good news. As for chemo, there was no room at the inn today or tomorrow, and I don’t want to have chemo Thursday – Saturday, so I will start next Tuesday. That is the physical side. The emotional and spiritual sides of me feel strong and happy. I poked into the dark and dusty corners of my mind and heart (places I usually don’t like to examine without a trained professional) to see if any scary thoughts or emotions were hiding there. But I really do feel good. My amazing cousin, her son and her fabulous friend were all visiting today and that makes me happy. Life overall is good. While I am not crazy about going back on chemo, I’m glad to have it as an option. The doctor made a remark about the gastrointestinal floor being the busiest one and how they are working to provide more space. I inferred that meant that they see a lot of GI cancers. So keep those intestines moving! Eat good foods, drink lots of water and keep your body moving. Get tested when you should and if you feel the need for a test and you can’t seem to get it, advocate for yourself or change doctors. You don’t want to be another one in this crowd!

I spent the past week preparing seemingly endless meals and snacks for the kids and their friends, delivering yet another glass of lemonade to a thirsty child, wiping sticky popsicle drips off the kitchen floor, telling the kids to go play outside, driving them to the pool, taking care of various animals. I wondered if I was frittering away my chemo holiday.

As I sat here today with the dog at my feet and my son on my lap, trying to write this post despite constant interruptions, I got this message.

The days go by with so many little things that don’t seem to matter
until they’re no longer there
and suddenly, they’re all that ever mattered.
-from StoryPeople by Brian Andreas

Enjoy the little things that make up your day. They matter. They are love and life.

Blessings and love always,
Marie

12 thoughts on “Chemo resumes next week

  1. Marie!

    Thanks so much for sharing your “good” (it’s all relative) news! I’ve been praying for you and will continue!

    Much love

    Beth

  2. Marie, you always make my day to today crap feel like just that! Thinking of you as you enter this new round of chemo. You’ve been there before, and each time, It’s created worthwhile benefits (albeit along with the s–t). Know that we’re thinking of you and counting on you to be with us to help us celebrate this summer! Xox

  3. Hi Marie Thank you for putting things in perspective. I am at work and planned to stay late, after reading your email I decided to leave at 5:30 and go home to see my cherubs. 🙂 It is so scary that the GI floor needs to expand. It seems like screening needs to start earlier history or no history of colon ca in the family. My pcp was going to wait until I was 50. Thankfully I had my stomach issues and I got the 2 for 1 endoscopy and colonscopy at the same time because the GI doctor found 2 precancerous polyps which earned me early colonoscopy’s. I am having Chris go this year to check it off the wellness list. Amy has been wonderful. I haven’t needed to take my stomach medicines for over a week! Thanks for the recommendation. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. Xoxo Jill

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  4. Love the quote – re-posted it for my friends too.  I know keeping a positive attitude is important and I am so happy that you can do that.  We all have so much in our lives to be grateful for even if we have to overcome heartache too. Always keeping you in my heart.   jan

  5. Beautiful and meaningful quote, Marie. Thank you for that important reminder! Sending good thoughts and love to you!

  6. Fabulous post, Marie. I’m making an appointment with the GI specialist today; I’ve been putting it off– finding other “important” things to do.

  7. What a beautiful quote Marie! I am happy you get to enjoy the everyday life with your beautiful family. You are always always on my prayers, in English AND Spanish 🙂 XOXO

  8. So many of us selfishly have a hard time learning the lesson that every day is a fantastic unimaginable gift. And then we have to keep re-learning it. Big hug – K

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