That ship has sailed?

Thank you for sharing the joys of this path as well as your help in navigating the bumps. Not surprisingly, my family and I have experienced unexpected changes, big and small.

Along the way, I’ve had a mastectomy, more abdominal surgeries than I can count, plus an ileostomy bag and later, a colostomy bag. I had a port surgically placed in my chest, then removed, then placed again. Chemo sessions meant three days of a needle sticking into the port in my chest, a tube running from that, and that tube connected to a machine and a bag of chemo.

My kids were only 1 and 4 when I started all this. Actually, if you start with the mastectomy, I had only one child who was two at the time. So for the younger one, this whole gig is a way of life.

After each of these surgeries, I was unable to lift the kids for the following couple of months. On my chemo days, they couldn’t cuddle with me for fear of disturbing or bumping the needle in my chest, much less run and jump on me or even tumble around. Given the frequency of these events, we got out of the habit of cuddling at all.

I don’t usually miss it or even think about it. We know that we love each other and life is what it is.

Last night, we joined a party at a friend’s house, hanging out in the backyard. As I sat watching all the trampoline jumping, the dogs running and the many conversations, every cell in my body suddenly craved for my nine-year-old to sit on my lap.

I can’t remember the last time he did that. And I can’t remember ever needing it more.

But, he is nine and we were in public and this was so not happening. I shifted my focused to the present and all the good around me.

Then, he appeared, stood in front of my chair, touched my knees, and sat on my lap.

Maybe we hadn’t had that for years. But we had it right then.

And it was the best ever.

Love to you,
Marie

13 thoughts on “That ship has sailed?

  1. Thank you , Marie , for sharing this with me. These are the special little joys of motherhood . You have enriched my life in ways you cannot imagine, with your honest and insightful emails. Thank u for this message. I include you in my prayers each morning, along with my children and mother-in-law. Enjoy the 4th! Love, L

    Sent from my iPhone

  2. Awwwe, an angel whispered in his ear! :). I hope you didn’t forget to take him home! 😛

    Sent from my mobile device.

  3. so so sweet, Marie. Thanks for telling such a heart-warming story. We don’t always get what we want … when we want … but we get what we need … when we most need it. Love to you!

  4. There is just nothing in the world like a Mother’s Love or a kid letting his mum or run run their finger’s through the kid’s hair and holding them close.

  5. This is beautiful Marie. I’m so sad how illness has taken opportunities for closeness away from you, but WOW your love as a great Mum obviously has kept your son (and the rest of the family) close. If 9 year old girl’s are anything to go by, then 9 year old boys can be tough company – your son’s spontaneous act of empathy and love is testament to the love and empathy he has received. I don’t think that love will ever disappear amidst the pre-teen awkwardness and teen indifference. If the ship sails, it is never far from the shore when there is love waiting. XX

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